BlacknSweet.com

Site Features:
Click2Date: to request a "date". You will be able to contact members privately, and exchange contact information without posting the information in public. Methods of "dating" include email, instant messengers, ICQ, phone, snail mail, and meeting in person.

My Ideal Date: auto email alert from BlacknSweet, notifying "Ideal Dates". After filling out the requirements for your "Ideal Date" at My Page under the "My Ideal Date" tab, BlacknSweet will match you with other members of your dreams, and alert you by email. This feature could be turned on/off here.

My Hotties: a personalized page to save friends/Hotties. You can save other members on your own My Hotties page by clicking on "Add to my Hotties" next to the pictures on members' pages. Your My Hotties page will show the picture(s) you've saved, and brief information on the member(s) for easier access.

My Rating: to reset your picture rating to zero. You can only reset your rating if you are a Premium Member. Go to My Page, and you will be able to reset all counts to zero under the "My Pic" tab.

Leave a Message: to leave a message on a member's personal page (no contact info allowed; no offensive language). To protect the privacy of yourself and others, and to meet legal privacy standards, you will not be able to publicly post contact information. Use the Click2Date feature or become a Premium Member for private contacts. Any messages with contact information or offensive language will be deleted. Members can reply/delete messages on their own page from My Page under the "My Messages" tab.

Benefits of being a member

Doesn't all of the above sound lovely? Well--Messages show up about three or four months after they've been posted, emails arrive from "MeSoAsian" so you either delete them as spam or overlook them.

I did however meet one of my best friends on here. So it can't be all bad. Pros? You don't really need to purchase a membership to interact. Cons? Quite a few unashamedly creeping husbands on there.

Overall, great for recreational purposes, but as a serious site for someone looking for a relationship? Not!

AfroRomance.com

This site is fairly new and sports a membership of about 2,000. I found it advertised in a new magazine by a sister in Florida. Her editor didn't even respond to my query email, but I'm not bitter...lol. As you've probably garnered from the pictures, the site was created primarily to facilitate interracial dating. I've been a member for about a month and so far, I've encountered Lookie Loos, like myself, some folks who are really serious about finding someone and then the folk who just wanna get their freak on. (Word of caution. Avoid the chatrooms after midnight. A few of the folks seem to think video + chatroom is a recipe for amateur peep shows).

Since I've only been a member for a month, I won't concretely say yea or nay to your bid for membership, I'll just say that I've enjoyed a few conversations in the the chatroom and that while I'm aware that people have preferences what has been problematic for me is the number of folks I've encountered or whose profiles I've read that state unequivocally their intent to seek out any other ethnicity but their own. In my opinion, that smacks a bit of self-hatred.

But whether I agree with the narrow parameters of some, I've gotta say more power to them, for being clear of exactly what they desire and going for it.

Current Features available to Members:

• Your profile hosted FREE with multiple photos
• Advanced profile searching - search by country, age, ethnicity etc.
• Unrestricted access to view all member photo profiles
• Your own Friend List of your favourite members
• Your own Block List to block unwanted messages
• Send & receive email messages with all members
• Flirt with other members with virtual hugs, flowers & kisses
• Reply to message introductions from subscribers
• Your own Private Mailbox for all your messages to & from other members
• Send text Instant Messages or video chat using your web-cam
• FREE access to chat live in the Interracial Chat Rooms

Sounds great doesn't it? All that for free? Well after a day or two of emailing, chatting etc. You get hit with a trial notice. Now that you've tried, to continue use, you need to subscribe.

AfroConnections.com

Tagline--"Where Black Folks Click!" This site is part of the socialplus.com network. I've been a member since November 2003. At that time, on offer was a FREE membership which enabled you to browse, flirt and respond to emails from members. Recently revamped, the amenities now include a 14-day trial membership, which entitles you to browse, flirt, email, *chat and *personality profile which helps you discover your "ultimate compatible match." (*New additions). After your 14-day trial, you retain the right to browse, flirt, respond to emails and chat.

Here are a few of what you will receive:

• Meet Positive, Fun Singles!
• FREE profile with photos
• Communicate anonymously
• FREE chat and winks
• Chat voice - TALK
• Cupid - Receive automatic 2-way matches!
• Personality Test
• Photo Gallery
• Weekly Online Poll
• Monthly Horoscope!

Subscriptions:

1 month US $ 19.95 (more info about reoccurring)
3 months US $ 44.95
6 months US $ 64.95
12 months US $ 94.95

Those are the facts, now for my personal experience and recommendation:

My Experience:

In the time that I've been a member and attempted to access the site (35%), I was either unable to do so or unable to view my flirts or read my emails. My solution? Visit less frequently and ignore most email notifications that "someone is interested in you."

During the uptime, I communicated via email and IM with several interesting folk . The one person I met physically, turned out to be homeless, a great guy, bit of a dreamer, but--homeless.

Another thought women preachers should only be allowed to preach to other women and children...funny, boychildren were okay. Maybe he should have been taught by one as a boy?

Another I blocked for lewd commentary. (There's always one in the bunch)

Overall, I found that folks on this site had much more fun winking than anything else. Maybe because winking is free?

My recommendation:

Since they've just revamped the site, I'll go easy on them and say, give them a try, you might have a better experience. (Although I've had problems accessing the emails already, since folks are taking full advantage of the FREE 14-day trial which has been afforded to all members, old and new). But, I'd not recommend paying for the membership at this point in time.

Pretenders Among Us?

by D.S. White

It was March of 2002. Single once more, I chanced upon an article in Ebony about two couples: one newly-wed and the other newly engaged. Nothing remarkable about that, I’m sure, except for the fact that the couples met online. "You can do that?" was my immediate question, followed by much deliberation (about ten seconds') and a mad dash for the computer in my home office. I logged on to one of the referenced sites and had a hallmark moment while perusing profiles of God’s greatest creation (mankind).

I set up a profile entering required statistics for myself: Christian (nondenominational), female, divorced, thirty-seven, 5’ 7”, 175 lbs, voluptuous, auburn tinted locks, athletic, some college, self-employed, 25K-50K. Type of Relationship: MARRIAGE. Next came my requirements for a perfect match: Christian (Baptist, Methodist, nondenominational), MALE, single, never married or divorced, thirty-five to thirty-nine, 5’ 10” +, 165-225 lbs, thin, athletic or muscular, high school diploma +, a JOB, salary unimportant, Type of Relationship--MARRIAGE. I uploaded my photo and I was off!

Running a search yielded a list of matches with a suitability rating of 50%-100% in descending order. Excited by the ease of the process, I waded through the list, chose profiles of prospects eliciting the most goose pimples, and made printouts (yes I did). Buoyed by all the targeted possibilities, I enthusiastically and politely responded to all emails, categorizing them as "yay," "nay," or "you must be kidding!" Woman of God or not, I was still keeping it real.

In the next few months I learned all about Instant Messengers and chat room speak. I also learned the wisdom of using *70 to block my number before calling any numbers listed. Most exciting of all, I met several prospects in person. Would that I could unequivocally state that everyone I met had nefarious intentions, needed kissing to become a prince, or was calorically challenged. I can't. In the midst of all the “pretenders” I met a few really gorgeous, straightforward, doing-the-right-thing men.

Nevertheless, there was no connection. There was always something that was not quite right. Maybe I was too impatient or picky. I knew that technology is not an exact science and made allowances for that, but even so, it seemed that the majority of candidates I met failed to match their profiles and/or photos. High five anyone?

If you spend any time in the online dating arena, it will remind you that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. What do I mean by that? Well, it seems that some of our brothers (and sisters) have become quite creative in their definition of "putting your best face forward."

We have tricks like overexposed shots in which the profile owner appears several shades lighter than reality, and the response to your comment upon meeting (in March, mind you) is, "Oh this? It's left over from my summer tan."

Next we have the pilfering of photos of professional but relatively unknown models. The photos are either copied from modeling websites or scanned from a magazine and uploaded to various profiles. Unless a poorly cut picture is scanned, you have no way of catching the deception until the meeting, if one materializes.

Last but not least, my personal favorite. After the third time running across the same photo on three different profiles, you realize that it's not triplets--it's piracy. The tip-off in this case is the irate response of the actual photo owner, lambasting and/or ridiculing the thieves from his page.

Why the misrepresentation? Are you wanted for questioning? In the witness protection program? Unless you’re a genius assuming an identity to right a wrong, why not choose to be the best you possible? If your photos are eight years old, warn somebody. If you have put on a few pounds, say so. Missing teeth, sparse hair, bitten nails, colored contacts, manual wheelchair, welfare bound, seven kids, live with your parents--just be you. There is no one like you!

Copyright (c) 2004, D.S. White